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April 28th, 2014, 08:23 PM   #1
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Musician jokes


What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
A viola burns longer.

What is the definition of "perfect pitch"?
When the clarinet lands in the middle of the dumpster.

What do you call a drummer in a three-piece suit?
The defendant.

What's the difference between a basson and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

How do you get a saxophonist off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.

What's the difference between a lawnmower and a cello?
Vibrato.

Banjo tuning - an oxymoron.

What's the differerence between a large pizza and an tuba player?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.

"Officer, arrest that kid! $\displaystyle \;$He just un-tuned one of my mandolin strings!"
"But surely you can fix it."
"Sure, but he won't tell me which one!"

What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
No one cries when you chop up an oboe.

Defiition of an optimist:
an accordion player with a beeper.

What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?
A tattoo.

The toothbrush was invented by a banjo player.
Otherwise, it would be called a "teethbrush".

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